My brain dictates my posts.

I've been kinda tired, my meds and depression do that to me. Some days I can't even get outa bed, and because of this I've been having some difficulty posting. I've started a post and stopped, then started it again, then stopped. Blaa.
Obviously I'm posting now, thanks to Brian Dolan for kicking my butt about it.
Nice to know that people care 😊.






I can still play guitar. We went to the open mic at Tinkers Son tonight with two of our nephews, played a few tunes, had some beer, saw people we love and stayed out late! Dirty stay-out-all-nighters!


So now it's time to say goodnight. Goodnight, sleep tight.

Nana went home Thursday night.

She died in her own home, her daughters and grandson Michael were around her, singing and loving her.






So how DO you say goodbye?
 






'Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while.'
- Sleepless in Seattle






So we go on.
We figure out what we do next. We get back into our own things and responsibilities and the other people that love us and need us.
And when you can, you remember your times together.






















http://www.lydonchapelforfunerals.com/notices/Virginia-White

12:30am November Sixth

Wide awake.
Laying on the sofa, listening to nana's ventilator through the floor. Patty's asleep, Donny and his family are at his in-law's, Colin is working, and I'm alone. Another Alzheimer's sleepless night.


Patty's sisters are all here, loving on nana, waiting. My nephew, Michael, arrived this afternoon from Memphis. He was nana's first grandchild and has a very special bond with her. Glad he's here.


Saying goodbye.


My father died when I was seventeen. He had a cancerous tumor in his brain and didn't wakeup after the surgery. I understand the pain of loosing a parent. It changed my life.


Even knowing that we are ALL gonna die, and that death is part of life, we still are... afraid of it. I'M afraid of it. My neurologist told me straight, I've got less than ten years. Ten years.


So what is there to do? I will love my wife like I'm gonna die tomorrow.
I'm gonna love my family like I'm gonna die tomorrow.
I'm gonna love my grandsons like I'm gonna die tomorrow.


I'm gonna love... like I am going to die tomorrow.


I don't know if anybody reads my posts. Not sure if I care, either. I just find this helpful to me. It's like screaming into the wind.